An open letter to the Dunkin Donuts employees at the Rockefeller Center subway station

Hey guys,
As someone who doesn't make a lot of money and tries to eat fairly healthy when I can (sometimes better than others), I don't visit you often. Although I love Dunkin Donuts coffee and find the stuff at work to be putrid, free coffee tends to win out in the end. However, when I'm feeling particularly famished or parched in the morning, I come say hi. I show up with my smiling face, am met with yours, and tell you my order. I don't think it's too difficult; I'm not like one of those Starbucks twits who goes on and on with my order, only to come back later saying it's not wet or foamy or hot or cold or sweet or liquid enough.

"Medium coffee with a little bit of cream and sugar, and a plain bagel with cream cheese please".

I would imagine this is one of the most plain, boring orders someone could make, and I bet you get a couple dozen similar orders on an average New York morning. Yet each of the last 2 times I have seen your pretty pretty faces, you have managed to mess up my order in the most unexpected, wonderful ways. When I came in last week, I received a special treat with my plain bagel: veggie cream cheese! Today, I got a cinnamon raisin bagel with plain cream cheese! Being the only one at the counter when the bagels are ready, I know I'm not getting someone else's meal by accident.




Now, I started this entry planning to critique and lambaste the Dunkin Donut employees for messing up my order twice in a row (I mean, really, how do you fuck up a plain bagel and cream cheese?), but I've had a change of heart.

For one thing, I realized recently that people tend to be much nicer in person than on the Internet, and that's a scary thing. Not all that surprisingly, people hide between the wall of anonymity that the web affords, and take advantage of that wall to say things they'd be embarrassed to say to someone's face. That being said, I think I'm a fairly nice person, and have never said anything about bagel mishaps. Perhaps Carlos has taken a look at my doughy figure and thinks that by adding veggie cream cheese and raisins into my diet, I'll get the hint and start eating better. Who knows, maybe I'll show up tomorrow and he'll give me a piece of celery and carrot juice.

Aaaaand this has turned into a long, rambling post that I now have no idea what to do with...